What is the draw of zombies?

I tell myself that I never want zombies to actually rise from the dead and begin their flesh-eating journeys of un-self discovery. I tell myself all the novels I read, forums I follow, and measures I take to "survive" are simply theoretical games in order stave off dementia when I putter around my "adult community" upon retiring from "normal"? people residency.

And yet....

And yet, I still wonder about whether I would survive--if my family and friends would be grilling on the 4th or wrapping presents in December as if the end had no suddenly fallen upon the world. I cannot imagine a world without them, but arguably when the shambling dead will inherit the earth, they not share it with their heart-beating neighbors.

What is this dark obsession slithering through our minds, worming its way so far into our souls, it seems virtually impossible to dislodge the sharp claws of morbidity? Perhaps, the real reason revolves around a distinct lack of a dangerous existence. For one who knows little "true" horror in her own life, does the dissolution of civilization burn so bright in order to combat a vague sense of boredom? How banal of me to put my own twisted entertainment before the betterment of my loved ones. In truth though, this is not me. For some, I am sure (as I do believe in evil), their desire for the most atrocious fulfillment does supercede any consideration for their fellow human beings.

Zombies as cathartic represents another reason the undead industry has expanded as most horror literature. The fantastic Mr. King argues horror films in particular (though I contend we can apply his claim to literature, too) possess the ability to feed our darker urges so that they do not bubble up to the surface and cause us to devolve into raving and sometimes violent creepies.

Other than throwing a few bones at my ravenous inner demons, I have to say I am particularly interested in underdogs, rebuilding, and hope rather than the destruction and devastation necessary to birth these more "heroic" concepts. I obviously use the term heroic cautiously as I am not unaware of the terrible origination process which brings these events forth. I pour over zombie book after zombie book for hope--to see humanity survive the enemies gnawing from within as well as on our edible epidermis. In our less than flesh hungry world, it seems most are content to stagnate. We complain, protest, and mean so well, and yet where are we thriving? Where are we truly building? Take us to the stars, to the deep, somewhere. Renewal is essential to life and yet we recycle old ways and old thoughts. Originality is not dead--I think it is simply in hiding.

So why do I pour over those books? those blogs? those tweets? I'm begging you authors for your insight, for your dreams or construction, of innovation. Call us to be better people and perhaps if the zombies do come, we will surprise you.

An Initial Assessment of the Home

Well, to be fair, I haven't experienced an actual zombie attack in my life. Nevertheless, I am thoroughly disappointed with my ability to distract, decap (itate), or defend against the zombies. Upon beginning my evaluation in the kitchen, I think my most formidable weapon may be my Country Cotton Yankee candle regardless of the lone butcher knife. During a full-on invasion, I could be distracted by the overwhelming stench of the undead. Perhaps, just perhaps, my fresh smelling and long lasting candle might provide a much needed scent based diversion. Then, I can blast the snarling, moaning cannibals with my non-existent firepower.

A true zombie survivalist, however, must have several backup plans. As a result, I continued to explore the rest of the apartment for potential weapons. I have a Lexmark printer...hmmm. Numerous paperback books...no, wouldn't want to damage our greatest equity. My cats do have claws though I hardly think a creature numb to pain would be daunted by the sharp shredding of its skin. If only the cardboard rendition of the Matrix of Leadership gracing our DVD shelf was real.

The bathroom does hold a bottle of Suave Maximum Hold hairspray, however, in my attempt to save the environment, it's not an aerosol can. I could pump and spritz the offending liquid while holding a lighter, yet somehow I do not believe it to be an effective flamethrower substitute.

Since I mainly own books and cat toys, I return sadly to the candle. Upon reflection, the candle may even be a detriment rather than an advantage. The smell could just as easily draw greater crowds of the undead instead of simply providing a disarmed survivalist a means of coping with the stench of rotting flesh.

Good luck to me. I have a feeling that I may need to fortify.

What do you have, potential readers, to ward of hoards of the undead?