Travel Training

I (we) drive a lot.

We've put over a 100,000 miles on our car (which was new) in four years.

I've been from the edge of the Pacific to the borders of Massechusetts (Oh spell check help with me that one) and a significant amount of backtracking in between. Those who travel with me vary greatly and are often only the other motorists puttering away down this highway or that.

Travel offers a fascinating glimpse into the culture of a city, town, or even state especially if one takes the highway, freeways, and numerous other car-beaten roads towards their destinations. I really prefer driving to any other form of travel. It gives me time to think, reflect, and plan. It teaches me which cities are most dangerous to be trapped in during a natural disaster (Norfolk/Hampton Roads because bridges reflect the only way out; Jersey, again with the bridges; Phoenix--there are only a few ways out lest you own a vehicle with off-roading capabilities). Perhaps it is that every location has its own challenges. By driving them, I can really gage my chances for surival should I find myself within the parameters of any given hamlet. Weary but educated drivers will best know the layouts/grids of the lanes they zip down and the backroads offering desperate salvation in the looming visage of a gridlocked city.

But really, driving calms me. Zen-ifies my worries. I don't know how I would really (really) react to zombies or some other super-life-alterating-there-was-no-way-I-could-really-prepare-moment. If I have the opportunity to escape in that initial wavs (and yes, it will likely be a matter of resonance), a long, hard drive into "safety" will provide me with the much needed time to reconstruct my most likely damaged/shredded pysche.

How will you cope my hopeful readers?

tbc....

Can I Make the Zombies Eat the Buffalo Sabres?

Well?

Check that....Bruins.. arrggghhhh

Nevermind.... zombies apparently ate the brains of the Flyers. Bah. End of this post. FOREVER.

How Would You Be Tracked by a Zombie?

Is it sense of smell or something more supernatural that would guide a zombie to your super secret hidey place?

If these creatures are truly dead (of course but walking), would their physical senses be operational? Would the crunch of your fateful misstep on that shard of glass or twig be the clue igniting the chase?

Having read several zombie books (I admit not more than a dozen or so), authors seem to gravitate most towards the sense of smell or sound when describing the human honing techniques of the undead. Perhaps them, as I train, I should work on my swift and silent ninja maneuverability skills or find a means of masking whatever awesome-come-hither-living-scents I might be generating.

Yet, if these creatures are dead, this seems somewhat illogical? Then again, should I worry about logic?

Other writers/theorists postulate these creatures do not actually die by after being infected by a virus rendering them impervious to pain or reason, may actually rely on their base senses to navigate the difference between tasty people treats and the rather useless (everything else in the universe).

Lastly, I've read a few novels exploring the zombie as a truly supernatural creature--a demon possessing a dead body. In regards to these creatures, senses other than esp are generally useless and therefore the writer often fails to explore them. In these cases, no matter how sound proof or air tight your fortress, that talented undead can detect your presence.

If zombies were to invade, I think it would be likely they would be "living" walking dead or the second theory put forth in this blog. I can imagine a neurological virus diluting their concepts of pain and encouraging a driving need to consume. Are there not such viruses/illnesses now which command the helm of human brains? (Dementia, etc.). True, they don't necessarily produce flesh-eating monsters, but the brain is a weird little opponent which can be manipulated to do rather creepy and heinous things.

I suppose we can only really know how we are hunted if and when it truly happens. Perhaps it is best to plan for all contingencies. Get a rosary, very quiet sneakers, and some deodorant. Do not trample blindly into the night, even when scrambling from those attempting to use your femur as chew toy. We will need all of the help/luck/grace we can get.

Review: Zombie Apocalypse!

I've recently been reading the innovative Zombie Apocalypse!, a work of fiction deriving from multiple authors in a variety of medias such as texts, tweets, emails, letters, journals, etc. The "book" offers a fantastic form of narrative generated from such technological marvels often associated with zombie fiction though not as much with mainstream literature. It chillingly takes the reader from the beginnings of the parasite induced virus to the "Death" of the world itself.

The book encapsulates what I love about the living dead: their mutations, adaptability and the deeply personal stories associated with them. Because Stephen Jones, the creator (as so noted on the cover), drew upon the writing talents of a plethora of authors, the book has an even more genuine feel. When characters are created, their voices are stronger than one might expect or rather, we don't have an author employing a persona simply to vent his or her frustrations. The word choices, hand-writing, errors, and other personal touches, not just the media, change with every new person introduced. A thirteen year-old girl gushes over a crush while attempting to cope with the loss and terror around her. A doctor, after having been infected, locks himself up for study the affects on his body and emotional state. The two could not be more dissimilar yet the editor/creator did weave the narratives together rather fluidly through plot and scene (so far, most of the book occurs in London and centers around the site of viral origination).

For most fiction, it is in the details. This work watermarks, "staples," and bends pages when appropriate. I think because it felt so real, I experienced the need to watch something funny on TV before going to bed. I couldn't quite finish this one story because before slumber, I didn't want the end I knew was coming to arrive. Yet, I will return to the book, complete this journey of gruesome horrors and the indomitable will of humanity to survive.

Similar to one character in the book, I suppose I too turn to novels such as Zombie Apocalypse! in an attempt to study or hone my skills as I prepare for the big Z-Day. But I wonder, if I, like him, will find my meager skill set seriously lacking when I face those great demons? Are these "preparations" really going to offer guidance for us? Perhaps Max Brook's Zombie Survival Guide as it does provide practical knowledge. I think maybe for works by such as Jones, the offer a different kind of survival skill: hope. All the machetes and crossbows in the world cannot defend against despair.

So, read on zombie fiends/friends. Read on and keep your eye on that glint of sunlight shining through your bordered up windows.

The Tally

Alicia : 10
Zombie: 100

*************************************************************************************
As suggested by a friend, I will keep a tally of my "wins" versus the accolades of the undead.

How, do you ask, is this possible when zombies do not actually roam the earth? (As far as you know...)

Well, whenever I experience an iota of hope or moment of accomplishment (which will invariably able me to survive the zombie takeover), I get a point. When I fail (crushingly), my mind seems to melt into zombie soup, and my actions unfailingly lead to certain lack of undead survival, well, you get the picture.

With every update, I'll put forth a biting explanation.

**********************************************************************************
Zombie point 1: rejected from graduate school on my BIRTHDAY! This will surely lead to an overindulgence in everything sweet and therefore will undo my vague attempts at physical training. Boo to you academia....

Me point 1: Got netflix for birthday. I can now study the zombie via numerous documentaries errr movies and thus learn their sneaky, lumbering ways...

Me point 2: Great support from friends and like 100 new "views" on blog since yesterday. I think at least 25 aren't from me ;)

Zombie point 2-4: Don't ask.

Zombie point 5: Frustration. I will prevail and once I do, I will afford myself a point.

Me point 3-4: Visiting wonderful family and friends and planning on adventurer training with my sister-in-law. This will assuredly translate into successful zombie survival skills. Sadly, I must return home soon--at least I'll be happy to see someone special!

Zombie point 6: Grading composition papers.....takes all of my brainpower leaving nothing but mushy brain goo behind. On second thought...

Me point 5: Mushy brain goo due to grading = zombies uninterested in using me as a lunchable!

Zombie point 7: painful week where the pain meant nothing. I super dislike this and it makes me want to swim in a sea of zombies (sorta).

Me: I've managed to lose 14 pounds since May and my jeans are falling off my .....

Zombies: Semester has restarted. I gave the little undead creepies as many points as papers I've already had to comment on. It's only been four weeks.

Back to the Preparation... Did I forget my desire to train?

Sooooo, I have been given Zombie Survival Guide for Christmas and am very intrigued by crossbows.

The Zombie Craze(y)

I am sure, fellow long time zombie enthusiasts, that you too are both amused and grateful? for the recent surge in undead cult-dom. It is odd how in the last few years the populace has latched on with its dirty talons in fascination with zombies. Why, after decades of neglect, does little Jane and John Doe cradle a microscopic concern for this often overlooked genre of fiction?

Perhaps after dappling with vampires for so long and very depressing economics, the masses are looking to the "masses" for some form of escapism. Sure, the annihilation of your credit-ridden, inflation soul eating society would put a most final stop payment on your already bouncing checkbooks. This imaginary land is quite freeing, quite peaceful in comparison to our real world pressure of daily survival. In the same vein, I suppose worrying how to loot rather than how to scrounge up change is much more desirable to average struggling person. But is this the most likely reason for the zombie craze? Sadly, I hesitate but feel to the need to nod my head in acquiescence.

It is silly and obvious but necessary to say we are desperate. In dire need of release, in need of repose, we bang on the doors of imagination to offer a glimpse of freedom. Liberty via the cerebellum lays claim to a long history of success--true. However, are we actually using this wonderful gift of imagination--gaining avenues of self-discovery and growth to combat at times "oppressive" reality? Here's the thing. I watch myself and others (I'll specify in American culture) fall into the trap of avoidance. We'll dream of this supernatural or that supernatural creature and imagine themselves to be this DIFFERENT, attractive, powerful creature and ask no more of them and these day dreams become the focal point of our lives. I've even succumb to this false and stunted world. This is dangerous. Useful at times, but if neverendingly (spellcheck tells me I have created this word) exchanged for reality then dangerous.

Yet, a great book and great reader can employ these imaginations to their worlds and gain! This is what I propose to be a true test of imagination--a manifestation which really brings us peace/happiness/joy/renewal/something-super-awesome/something-tangible.

But back to zombies. Zombies are one way in which we can forget, ignore, avoid all the yucky gunk of the real world. They tear the duty-bound boulders of our daily lives swiftly and victoriously from our aching, knotted shoulders. Fans of zombies who are in it for the zombies know it is much more complicated than that. Apocalypse in no way means peace--names change, jobs alter, the weight is still born.

People, I am glad your interest gives the opportunity for more authors, more presses, and more publications of zombie literature; however, do not panic when you realize your pain has not been alleviated. Turn back and turn inward in a way that best satisfies those demons. It is just a thought or more of a concern for my dazed and enchanted friends (and self). When satisfied, pick up another undead narrative and enjoy the ride.

Perhaps this rant is silly or annoying--but then after a millisecond or two of posting, it too will be just as ephemeral as your passing fancies.