H-Day?

If you were a zombie, would you attack on Halloween? Would it be tacky? Too Obvious?

A zombie doesn't have much else going in its favor other than numbers and the element of surprise. Should the undead uprising begin on All Hallow's Eve, most victims would hardly unsuspecting. Ghosty and gholishly things are supposed to happen today. We prep for that scenario all year long. If something is going to go down, October 31st seems like a reasonable day for the event to occur. Odd then a lot of disaster movies actually take place on Christmas. Would it make more sense to deck the halls with zombies? I suppose their wriggling, rotting bodies might even look endearing in the soft glow of twinkle lights. 

Well, zombie Christmas would certainly be entertaining and very much Tim Burton-esque. However, it still seems like the world could naturally align to let the dead dance among the living on our most spooky holiday. 

I imagine patiently awaiting the arrival of mini storm troopers and my little ponies gasping for candy whilst the rotting dead begin to rise inevitable from their cold, moist graves. I hear the jingle of the door bell, an indication that some dedicated trick-or-treater will be standing, arms stretched out in desperate need of glucose and melted chocolate and plastic capes flapping in the chilly October wind. As I settle a spooky grin on my lips and firmly tug on my witch's hat, I clutch a basket of snickers and skittles in one hand and reach for the brass door knob with the other. Both parties excited and expectant. However, what greets my sugar-coated philanthropy is not sweet demands of greedy children but rather the bloody groans of a malnourished corpse. For a moment, both of us remain frozen in a indistinguishable mixture of wonder and horror. My heart and all sense of sanity pause in the same instance, my body in a rigor more appropriately associated with the creature standing before me. Its eyes cloudy yet with a hint of relief as it stands before a treat most tempted, most required. This moment stretches for what seems like eternity until instinct floods both of our systems. I stumble back in terror and adrenaline; the creature descends upon my weak attempts to flee. 

Soon we are locked in an embrace deeper and more intimate than any other we had experience prior to this fateful night. My bowl of candy quickly forgotten springs from my grasp as all of my good intentions are flung out into the dark, dark night. Falling inevitably to the ground below, I can only softly mew as its shattered teeth tear into the soft flesh my forearm, bloody quietly soaking both of our souls. Down, down, down we go into the rabbit hole. It stays for as long as it is necessary, for a long as my blood remains warm. And then it leaves me behind in search of another foolish lover of Halloween, another set of thrumming arteries and tender skin and muscle. 

From terrible pain, fear, comes first the soft whisper of oblivion, until the sharp pangs of hunger reanimate my flesh. Twitching, aching, needing, I rise and seek out a satisfaction I will never be aware can never end. Trick or Treat.

(Images from http://www.zombiepumpkins.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1113 and http://zombifiedzone.blogspot.com/2010/12/well-its-that-time-of-year-again.html)