Thursday, July 28, 2011

What the heck do zombies worry about?

All this preparation, the time spent reading guides to zombie survival, the websites dedicated to defense, and really, I am starting to wonder about the rewards.

Should I survive the zombie apocalypse, I am the (un)fortunate one to inherit numerous concerns and worries while the zombie, that little booger gets to just moan and groan and scavenge for food. I mean, really?

You do all of this hard work, SURVIVING? And this creepy, crawly creature gets to feast on your hard work (i.e. civilization/people). I could see why some would just want to succumb quickly to zombiehood--the job perks are not to be scoffed at. When you get over the pride of surviving (imagines a gleeful person dancing on top of a mountain of expired zombies crying, "I'm king/queen of the zombie mountain!"), you are left with what? A few scrawny potatoes from your makeshift garden or one more can of baked beans from the storage shed?

Cripes! Zombies get to travel without paying (lest with rotting flesh), they can gorge themselves on various appetizing (for an undead) delicacies, and they are tireless. No need for red bull or downing Starbucks for them just to function.

Thinking about it, this almost makes me want to beat up the zombie more. To zombie or not to zombie? I guess it depends on the size of the 401K.

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